Author Pema Chödrön states,
“Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible in us be found.”
I believe healing requires a profound amount of courage, self-reflection, resiliency and the ongoing state of tender presence and that it is through this process of making ourselves comfortable with the uncomfortable—that is our personal roadblocks, our own bullshit, our doubts, our fears, our easy excuses, all of the chatter—that we create the profound space that Chödrön alludes to—the space for true authenticity, belonging and joy. While this is some of the hardest work that we do, it is also what gives us the ability to see the fabric of our resiliency. In the process, we create space for a better quality of life, deeper connections and in turn, create the loving, non-judgmental space where healing thrives.
Here are 5 concrete practices to take on, adjust and put into place this month to create space for personal wellness and healing:
- Shift your perspective through body awareness –take up a physical release that gives you the chance to also practice presence. Do thirty minutes of varied exercise at least five days a week. It’s not just for your body’s sake (though hey, that’s awesome too)—it’s also crucial mental health work.
*This could be running, yoga, cycling or a routine pm call accompanied with a walk, or any daily practice that gives you a healthy and diverse variety of physical activity.
- Dare to Tell the Truth—honor your uniquely beautiful inner voice through several practices weekly that give you a nuanced space to express, process and be heard, validated and appreciated. Give voice to your silence so shame doesn’t have the grounds for validation.
*There are so many ways to go about this: therapy, groups, family time, couples’ honesty hour, blogging, writing, sending letters, etc. etc. There is no right way to go about this, but be creative, brave and willing to explore. By allowing yourself new outlets, you foster the foundations for nurturing your inner voice and taking ownership for holding space for your unique authentic self.
- Release the weight you carry on your shoulders through concrete steps each day to de-stress.
*Journal before bed, do a mindfulness meditation, practice CBT techniques daily, incorporate positive affirmations, use therapeutic tracking apps, paint, scream on top of a hill—there’s no right way to do it, except being brave enough to get creative, tune into your body and respond accordingly to help yourself relieve tension, stress and process anxieties in a healthy way.
- Cultivate personal space and honor your boundaries.
*Make personal time a priority (at least fifteen minutes every day but preferably an hour at minimum, even if you have to get creative about how to go about this. Spending quality time with yourself for reflection, creativity and sitting with your inner silence can be calming and reinvigorating, especially when defining and putting your boundaries into practice –with your friends, your partner or spouse, your kids, your neighbors, your in-laws, and, of course, with yourself. Creating accountability without leaning into righty allows us a balanced and nuanced foundation for doing this personal work.
- Let go of measuring your worth as a point of comparison and ask questions, find mentors, be the brave soul to bring up the topics others shy away from.
*We’re all craving that authenticity and seeing it puts others at ease, allowing for deeper connections. Clarify, ask your mentors, friends, family, children and neighbors how they’re really doing and what’s the best piece of advice they can pass on. Such practices let us tune in to the abundance of wisdom (and kindness around us). It’s a great way to challenge “not good enough” thinking too, by welcoming vulnerability in and asking others to share what they’ve learned dealing with the tough stuff.
How do you want to challenge yourself to deconstruct the narratives that don’t serve you through kindness, reflection and intentional practices?
What routines give you the foundations for this? What habits get in the way?
If we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation, as Chödrön suggests, our resiliency can give us clarity, strength and honor “that which is indestructible in us.”